Back For You
by MademoiselleFantastique
Summary: Dan tries to get back with Serena but she acts strangely. What happened to her?


**Hello!**

**So, I've got a new show I really like - GOSSIP GIRL! I especially like the pairing Selena/Dan. I don't know but I think they fit each other perfectly!**

**Have fun reading this!**

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After everything they went through, Dan had thought that Serena and him were supposed to be together. He always thought that she was his endgame. But after they broke up, there was nothing they had but hate for each other. He did everything to insult her and she tried her best to wear her mask. He couldn't know that, could he? He always thought that she was playing one of her games like she usually did. And he thought he was a part of a game he never wanted to play.

But she wasn't like that anymore. She wasn't manipulative, even though she wasn't a real angel either. Dan knew all that; her mistakes, her special sides, her secrets, her wishes, her fears. This made her a human being and this was what he really liked about her: she never wanted to hide. She showed her fear and weaknesses and he knew she hated that she had 'em. She wanted to be a second Blair Waldorf, just as 'perfect as her'. But Serena wasn't like that and everyone knew that, including Blair. Serena was Blair's better side, her shoulder to cry on. Of course, they had problems with each other in the past but this made their friendship so strong.

This is what once made Dan's relationship to Serena so strong. Instead of her, _he_ was her better part. He was not similiar to her, he was... anything but a kid from the High Society. He was normal while Serena wasn't. That was what Serena liked - and still did - about Dan. He was a normal, kind and loyal guy. He sticked to the ones he loved. Serena missed him a lot. He was such a good friend, why kept the fighting with each other?

"Go away", she breathed and looked away. He glanced at her. Even if it rained she still looked beautiful and amazing. There was nothing wrong about her. It was cold and their breaths formed white little clouds.

"No, Serena. I won't."

"Why?", a tear escaped her eyes. Did she cry? What happened? "Because I see you are not happy."

"You can't make me happy. No one can."

Silence, a sob escaped her. Dan could now tell that she really cried. She turned around so she didn't need to face him any longer. But he didn't let her shake him off. "You need a friend right now, Serena. I offer you my friendship."

She laughed a humourless laugh before she turned around to glance at him: "You offer your friendship? To me? After all those things you did to me, you think an offer could change something?"

"Yes, I think so. Serena, you can't blame me for all of those things. I knew I made mistakes but you did, too. It wasn't just me so don't blame me for everything", he defended himself and stepped next to her. She sobbed and whipped her tears away before she looked in his eyes. Her mascara was running but she still looked breathtaking. "What do you want from me?"

"I just want to talk. I want to help you, Serena. You need a friend, a real one", he answered sincerely and gave her a handkerchief. She took it and started to whisk off her mascare before she mumbled: "Blair's a real friend."

Dan nodded slowly: "Yes, she might be. But remember, she made your life hell but you still forgave her. She'll be always jealous of you, just as much as you are of her."

A sad smile escaped her lips: "You're right. The closest people hurt me the most. I think it's time to stop being the Serena I was."

That sentence worried him: "No, that's not true and that wasn't what I meant! Blair understood her mistake and she-..."

"I was not talking about her. I was talking about you."

Dan was taken aback, even though he actually knew she was talking about him. "Dan, I really appreciate what you are trying. Really. But I didn't forget the torment you put me through. That was when I needed a friend, not now. You're too late."

Dan sighed, knowing that his ex girlfriend was right. He _was_ too late bu he wouldn't give up that easily. Dan was here to fight. "I know, Serena, and I am really sorry for that... please... just... let us talk."

"No", she shook her head, "There's no chance for us, Dan. We don't belong to each other."

This was a lie and both of them knew that. Serena and Dan were practically made for each other, they were perfect together! But Serena thought if she lied to him, it would be easier for her to accept that, too. But it only made worse.

"You are lying."

"No. You, as a writer, should know how to feel into other people. What do you think I feel?"

"You feel lonely, shallow... alone... you think you are not worth anything but that's not true."

She knew he was right but she didn't want to accept that. She wasn't ready to accept that. "I beg you to go", she whispered with small voice.

Dan stroke over her cheek: "I don't want to leave you alone."  
She smiled a bit at his words even though she didn't want to. And before she knew what she was doing, she gave him a kiss on the cheek. Then she turned around and went away before she stopped to look a last time at him: "I forgave Blair, you're right with that. But I didn't forget."

"So, why don't get I the chance to prove you what I mean? Why can't you forgive me?"

"Because there is nothing to forgive", she took a deep breath before she continued, hoping that he would understand her logic: "You made me a strong person and I thank you for that. I've learned my lesson and I am thankful for that. I've become a better person ever since this happened."

He looked at her and she saw hurt, pain, sadness and anger in his eyes. "You may be a good writer, Dan, but you were always horrible at hiding your feelings. This is what High Society is all about - trying to be a perfect doll without emotions. And that's not you. You aren't an actor and you probably will never be."

"Actor?", he asked confused and raised an eyebrow which made her giggle. She loved how naive he sometimes was. But then she returned to be serious again: "You and I are like the sun and the moon. I was born into High Society, you weren't. You were raised by people who love you, unlike me. We're different and that's not good."

He shrugged his shoulders: "I don't give a damn about what people think and say of me. I'm me and you're you. Why do you care?"

She took a deep breath before she tried to explain: "I don't want the people I love the most to be punished by my 'friends'. I don't care about my reputation but... I am not good for you, Dan. I don't want you to get hurt."

"Why do you keep telling me that you are not good? Why do you think so bad about yourself? Why do you keep telling me excuses when I know you just want me as bad as I want you? Look, we all are... like... like a big family. Blair, Chuck, Nate, Jenny... you and me... us."

"There's no longer an 'us', Dan."

Dan was at the end, he didn't know what to do anymore. The rain had become stronger. Dan and Serena were both wet but they felt nothing but emptiness. Serena just cried silently while Dan buried his face ins his hands; he was about to cry but he didn't want to.

"Are you crying?", Serena's voice sounded worried as she took his hands away from his face. "I don't understand you, Serena. Why are you doing this? Why are you pushing me away?"

She didn't answer.

"You know I am right. You pretend like you don't care but you obviously do if you are trying so desperately to push me away!"

"No!", her voice sounded hurt as she yelled at him. "This weren't my words!", she screamed helplessly.

"Then tell me! Tell me what your words were!", Dan demanded angrily. Serena looked sadly at him before she laid in his arms and cried into his shoulder.

"Shh, Serena. It's gonna be alright...", Dan whispered into her ear which only made her cry harder.

"Dan... I... I love you... really... but this... this isn't going to happen", she sobbed uncontrollably whilde Dan looked at her: "What do you mean?"

"I love you, never forget that", she said before she ran away and left Dan alone in the rain.

_This wasn't supposed to go this way._

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**A/N: Kind of sad but I still like it. And what do you think?**

**Reviews! (:**


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